My feelings are you are still there. Its been nearly a year now and its never faded. Month after month, but its still there. Honestly, I don’t know why I care for you so much still. You hurt me. More than anyone has ever hurt me. I opened up to you, fell for you, but you ended up being just like every other guy. Despite your protests saying you weren’t, despite all those times you tried to prove to me… you were just like every other guy that hurt me. I honestly never thought you would. I had no doubt about you. I never once doubted you. I trusted you enough not to hurt me, but you did, countless of times. I remember coming home from school crying because you hurt me so bad. I remember all those times I threw fits because of you, those times I hurt myself. I still love you and I don’t get it. I’m sitting here pretty much crying my heart out because I miss you. It doesn’t make sense. You moved on, you don’t want me in your life. Everything between us is awkward. We can’t even hold up a normal conversation. I thought time was suppose to help me heal? That if I waited and lived my life, that I’ll get over you sooner or later. But it feels like as more time goes by, the more hurt I get. Every time I look back at what we had, it hurts more and more.

I feel stupid, honestly.